So its sunday night and am seating on my desk, and am watching Monsoon Wedding (yes, I do have a small obsession with bollywood) lol, and writing my paper and studying for Geology...yes, MUlti Tasking...such a new concept you know...
but anyways, all this is happening on the screen on the new iMac that Pete so graciously carried to my room....and I had an epiphany. What an old concept yet it sticks now. Those who know me well know am a cynic when it comes to love...yes, especially when its in the American society when people get married at age 18-20 and by the time they are 30, they have gone through 3 divorces...Wat a Joke on marriage...and Love? hello! if you fall in love, how the bloody snorts do you fall out of love so quickly? ANYWAYS!
I was watching this movie, and arranged marriages, and then I was taken back to a call I received from my father yester morning...too early when i was supposed to be sleeping. he claims to have found a man that would be good for me, if I only would get to know him. While I would never dream of being rude to my father especially on the phone, in my mind, I was like the old man has gone crazy. But then after talking it over with a friend, I saw in his sense that he was worried. Here I am, 21, and not any prospects of marriage. The man wants his cows now, so off course hes worried am gonna get married to some poor american and he wont get his cows, so hes gotta act fast...LOL
back to the movie, so as all this is going through my head, am thinking, wow...this is true love. Not the true love in the movies, but Love as we see it alive and breathing. Be able to set aside one's past, and marry a stranger? Oh the very idea gives me chills. Or should I say, am scared. I would like to know what am geetting myself into...but then if I did, i would prolly carry the baggage of he is never gonna change cause hes' always been so and so.
My second epiphany was the idea of family. While am not into kids (love kids to death, but my own...dont think so) I am not so inclined to have my legacy passed from one generation to another. I think am okay in just investing in those children whose parents left them or were just too stupid to take care of their kids.....
but the idea of family...not Hollywood style but bollywood style. I like it better, because blood is thicker than Water...and that is a concept that never dies. The family that goes throught thick and thin for you....I mean its a pain, but a beautiful pain...anyways, I am still chewin on this one, so give me time and i will post on this again

Love Vs Stupidity

Now, I am not a cynic...not really. I could be at times especially when it comes to people who are corny with the mushy feelings...Some of my friends think that I dont have a heart because I dont get all giggly and chatty when a new guy comes into the scene or if the Bf buys them flowers or surprises them. I enjoy buyin flowers for my friends at times, especially when they are down....I do like to throw surprise parties for my friends too...which is crazy for someone who hates surprises...lol. Now dont get all hyped out...this is not a personal blog, but more of my life with some interesting intellectual observations.
So as I promised earlier, I am going to elaborate on the issue of sex and money...sex and media, sex and Africa. Better yet, sex and love. I come from a very different background where, I grew up in middle class Burundi. Then moved to the same in Kenya. When I read books about african women and some socialeconomic issues that make it impossible for women to be independent, I feel a pang of pain and sorrow. At the same time, I feel so blessed because I am bloody independent...prolly explains why I am still single. Back home, I've seen this....yea, women who get into relationships and then in the name of love are abused and even raped by their significant others. they become slaves to that man and off course they are always suspected of cheating so they are beaten even more. Then the absurdity of it all...the men are unfaithful to them and the women know it. Oh Lord have mercy...I will castrate a man faster than he can Say Amen if I ever found him cheating on me, and then expecting me to be okay with it...and then the bastard tries to lay hands on me...yea...not gonna happen.
So its in this independance that I find it necessary to keep my virginity...off course this is faith aside. I am not going to sleep with someone just because they need to be assured of my love for them....I mean, if you cant see it in my eyes and daily actions...then take a hike.
All being said and done, I do believe in the beauty and complexity of love. I do believe that sex is a gift that can be beautiful if its not being used for abuse...I believe in flowers(what woman doesnt?), the chocolates and sweet words...I am a sucker for good romance, but not stupidity.
By now, I have watched enough of Sex and the City, to know that one night stands are not that easy to get over...the media makes it so easy...so easy to sleep with someone and just move on emotionless....haha, RIGHT! please, maybe men are like that, but most women I've met, they are always crying and agonizing about what went wrong and what could have been.
So yea, while my friends to testify to the fact that I lack a romantic heart...I can honestly say, I love it that I have been blessed with a strong back and really hard head...lol
So here is something cute....which moved me really
Gaze into my eyes.
Let me know you'd fight thousands, for my love.
Slip your hand in mine ask me to dance with you tonigh.
Just ask me, for my Love.
I am the "nice" girl you never knew you were looking for....
So yea, I was moved

AIDS vs Women Abuse

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I am seating right now in my room holding a book in my hands. For the last five months, I have decided to do two desertations...just for the fun of it, (but off course I end up turning them into my graduate entrace papers). However, as am seating here at 1 in the AM, I feel like I need some sleep, but for the life of me, I cant bloody sleep! So am angry at my inability to sleep...and angry because I feel so taxed already. My inability to sleep is because I keep thinking of the book that I just read. Or parts of it atleast.
AIDS...killer disease, is what they call it in Africa. Being that I am from there, I have made this a personal journey to figure a way out of this mess. So am writing a paper about it, but now I am really mad, because I stumbled upon a disturbing occurence. Women getting abused by men, because they are "in love". ( I will tackle this topic at a later time)...I am not a cynic and I truly believe in love, but when that love is one of the roots of AIDS, then I have a big problem with that. When women are selling their bodies so that they can have a good life, then that is a problem. When a woman is getting beaten by her bf or whoever sugar daddy, then I pity the fool who dares lay a hand on me or my sisters...because this has becomes a health hazard and a big injustice to human rights, then I bloody have a big problem with it. You see, I wasnt surprised as the abuse women get, but the idea that a man can be unfaithful, and expect the woman to be faithful is just not kosher with me...but who cares right? I mean, AIDS is rampant, and it okay?
Drug companies want to develop vaccines. Condom makers want to sell condoms. Churches want to preach sexual abstinence. Politicians want to ignore the frequency of rape, casual sex, and cheating among married people. Individuals want to believe they are safe because they know the people they have sex with...this is the vicious cycle now. However, all these people, want to "help"....maybe its time that Africa stood for Africa.....
"As a woman living with HIV," says Beatrice Were of Uganda, "I am often asked whether there will ever be a cure for HIV/AIDS, and my answer is that there is already a cure. It lies in the strength of women, families and communities who support and empower each other to break the silence around AIDS and take control of their sexual lives." With a vaccine against HIV far off in the distant future (if at all), and with treatment of AIDS in the two-thirds world difficult, expensive, and limited in effect, the name of the game in HIV-AIDS is prevention.

Back!

So it has been a while since I posted. That is probably because I am too busy and I dont have time to catch up with everything that is going on around in my life.
That being said and done, I have been inspired by a friend I met recently to start blogging again, because after reading my previous posts, I find this to be really satisfying after all. Ranting is not wat i do best, but I have my share of rants.
Since the last time I posted, I have changed a lot...in a good way. There is a lot of media descrepancies that i can rant on... plus I might be more informed this time.
Anyways....this is my first blog for the year 2007,,hehe, pathetic but I will try to keep this up